Okay well, you got me Phyllis, you said that one day i would come to miss that dog. And honestly i haven't stopped crying on and off for the past 2 days. How can you not. Even if you never let your dog sleep in your bed or anywhere near it, or you don't let your dog mingle on the main floor of your home, or you make her stay in a basement most of her days because you dislike dog hair and dog smell and drool, you can't help but miss the face that you have looked at for 8 and half years over and over all through each day. I think for the most part I was a good owner. I know there are lots better and lots worse. I didn't lean down and kiss her, but i rubbed her body and head often and talked nice to her A LOT!! I told her sweetly everynight goodnight and love ya. I enjoyed seeing her and having her around 24/7, even though most people heard me complain and talk rudely about her. NOW I AM PAYING FOR IT. I feel like hell that most of you have the worse painted picture of her. I know that most of you weren't to fond either of her, but i let on that she was a lot harder and high maintenance than she was and I regret it. When I think of her face i see Alexis in her, mainly because they were together so much. Now that she is gone, i feel like she was the 4th child that was pushed aside. And i feel so sad, because she deserved more than that because she was a sweet dog who offered nothing but love and affection. My advice to you is don't get a dog if you can't give it your time and energy. We were much better before we had kids, she got long walks DAILY and lots of talking time in. I have been pushed to my limits the last 2 years of my life and I feel like i am close to knockin my head against the wall several times a week. I love my life and love my situation of craziness, but i don't love that fact that I am wracked with guilt because of the lack of attention I showed my dog. In my defense i know i wasn't horrible. I talked to her a lot through out the day and gave her treats and table food to be nice. I would let her up a lot recently to play with the kids, but now that she is gone, i could have done better. I am sad that i didn't get to say goodbye to her because again she feels like she was another child, and essentially when you raise something from the time they are 5 weeks old, they are your child. And right now I feel like a very so so parent. I wish i could tell Sunny thank you for all the things she did do for me. I actually did go down to the basement and talked through my tears telling her spirit thank you. I told her thank you for being very sweet to my kids. Thank you for allowing alexis to playfully torment you for the last 4.5 years, thank you for going along with any game she wanted even if it meant you being tied to the bathroom door for two hours on a very short leash while I didn't even know. Thank you for letting Mitchie crawl all over you and dig his fingers inside your mouth, without biting him. Thank you for letting the kids step on your tail, and paws both of which you hate. Thank you forgiving me daily when I would pack up the kids in the car and leave you home behind whining cause you wanted to go. Thank you for giving my restful peaceful nights of sleep because i knew you were our watch dog as we slept. Thank you for ALWAYS giving me that peace that you would alarm us of any potential danger. Thank you for making Jason laugh a lot. Thank you for providing countless hours of entertainment for my kids. Thank you for allowing me to be surprised that dogs do cute things. Thank you for vacuuming my floor whenever given the chance. Thank you for the love you brought to the family and being a sweet dog. I know you had your problems, but it never stopped you from showing us love and I am now seeing that. Thank you for loving me even though I could have and should have done more. Way more. Sorry Sunny. Love ya. See ya on the other side!
Yes that is her dragging her butt down our hill. (hense the reason for the grose outs!)
